How to Plan a Pet Funeral Service

Pet Body Disposition

The first thing you will need to figure out is what to do with the body. As with humans, when a pet dies you can choose to bury or cremate the body.  Let’s take a look at the options for each choice.

Pet Burial

If you own your own property, in most cases you can legally bury your pet in your backyard.  However, you will need to check your local state, county, and city laws and ordinances for any restrictions.

Some areas may prohibit or severely restrict pet burial.  This includes many large cities or property located on the water table. Other times the laws may not be clear, or you may get vague or even conflicting answers from city officials.  Remember, if you bury or abandon the carcass of any dead animal in any lake, river, stream, meadow, or other public place, or within one mile of another’s residence who does not consent to the burial or abandonment you will be guilty of a misdemeanor.

You do want to be careful about contamination, especially if your pet died from a disease or was euthanized.  Especially with the latter, which involves extremely toxic chemicals, you want to make sure the pet is buried where the chemicals will not affect other animals, plants, or water sources.

Also, when burying in your own property, find out where power and utility lines are buried.  Make sure you are downhill from any wells, at least 100 feet away from any water source, and dig a hole at least 3 feet deep.  Four feet is better.  If you hit bedrock or if your hole fills with water, choose another location, as the decomposing body of your pet can leech down into the water source.

Place your pet in thick plastic if euthanized, to prevent the chemicals from seeping into the soil.  If not euthanized, you may prefer a more natural burial without any plastic.  You can purchase a pet casket online, or make your own from wood or a cardboard box.  Pack the soil in tightly when refilling the grave, and place one or more large paving stones over top to prevent animals from digging it up.

Mark the grave site with something special.  This can be a tree or rock or special flowers, or it can be an actual grave marker or even a personalized stepping stone.

Pet Cremation

1.      Burying the Ashes

If your pet has been cremated, burial of the ashes is similar to full body burial but a little simpler and easier.  There are no legal restrictions on burying ashes on your own property, other than concerns about the container (urn) and accidentally hitting utility lines.

It is ideal to use a biodegradable cremation urn, such as a cardboard box, when burying cremated remains.  Or you could skip the urn and bury the remains directly into the ground.

Bury the ashes a few feet deep, and mark the grave with a personalized pet memorial marker, customized stepping stone, or maybe a special tree

2.      Scattering the Ashes

There are no laws against scattering ashes, but anything you place or scatter on public property needs to be done with the property owner’s permission.  This means you should ask before scattering ashes at a park, beach, or natural forest.

Choose a container for the remains that is easy to open and allows the ashes to come out smoothly. 

3.      Keeping the Ashes

One of the most popular options for a beloved pet’s remains. When you cremate a pet, you get the option to keep the ashes close by, in your home.  Even if you move, you can keep the remains with you.  This is one of the great draws to pet cremation.

To keep the pet’s ashes, you will want a cremation urn.  You can, of course, use just about any container as a memorial urn.  The remains will come from the crematorium in a simple container, which works just fine.

For something a little more personal, you can always make your own urn.  Use a jar and decorate it, sew a pouch and place the remains inside (the ashes will come from the crematorium in a protective plastic bag), build a keepsake box, or make your own ceramic vase.

Pet Funeral Service Ideas

What to Say at a Pet Funeral

What you say at a pet’s funeral will depend largely upon your personal beliefs and who is in attendance.  You can also make it as long or short as you would like.  The tone of the pet funeral can be serious and ceremonial or fun and lighthearted, or somewhere in between.

Here are a few popular quotes and reading for a pet funeral:

·         “How lucky we are to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” – Winnie the Pooh

·         “Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.” – Roger Caras

·         “What we have once enjoyed we can never lose; all that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” – Hellen Keller

·         “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” – Dr. Suess

Some specific examples of what you can say are:

·         [Pet’s name] was a dear friend and the very finest pet a family could have.  You will be missed.

·         Goodbye, [name]; we honor your memory.

·         Today, we honor the life of an amazing dog.  [Name], we love you and will hold you in our hearts always.

Here are two lovely and simple poems you might consider reading or reciting:

Knowing

by Sally Evans

If I had known that on that day our time was near the end….

I would have done things differently my forever friend.

I would have stayed right next to you deep into the night….

But I thought I’d see you in the early morning light.

And so I said ‘Good-night’ to you as I walked in through the door…

Never thinking of the time when I’d see you no more.

But if I had known that on that day our time was at the end…

I would have done things so differently my forever friend.

A Poem for Wally

by Heather

Oh my sweet kitty, I love you still,

There’s a place in my heart, you always will fill.

I still feel your fur, and find it around

Bringing back memories of the kitty I found.

I miss you, I miss you, what more can I say,

I wish you were here for just one more day.

With Children

If children are present, they will often have questions about where the pet went, what happens after death, and so on.  They will be sad when the family pet dies.  Use the time as an opportunity to talk about life and death.  You can help make this sad event into a time of emotional and spiritual growth for your family by simply talking about it.  You don’t have to be a professional, and you don’t have to have all the right words.  Just talk about your emotions, ask our kids about how they are feeling and what they are thinking, and tell them it’s ok.  It might also be a good idea to read a couple children’s books together that deal with grief and death.  You can find a source on Pinterest by searching “101 Classic Books about Death That Help Children Grieve”

What to Do at a Pet Funeral

Keep the tone of everything simple and respectful.  If some lighthearted humor is appropriate for your beloved pet, by all means encourage that by sharing a few stories or passing around photos. But there is also a seriousness to death that is best served with a reverent tone.

When you are ready to begin, say something to that effect so that everyone is on the same page.  Open with a prayer or quote, or a simple opening phrase.  Light a candle. Perhaps include a few moments of silence.  For example: “We are gathered here to honor our beloved [pet name].  Let us begin by observing a moment of silence in his honor.”

Then you can say, read, recite, or sing anything you like.  Ideas include songs and poems about pets, hymns, or stories from the family that are written down in advance or shared extemporaneously.  Pass around photos or play some videos of the pet, or play a favorite song or a clip from a movie.

If you are burying the pet, now is the time to place the pet in the grave.  You can also gather drawings or notes from the children and place them into the grave along with the pet.  Perhaps include some favorite chew toys or blankets.

If you are not burying the pet, you can use this time to gather the keepsakes together on a center table alongside the cremation urn.

Offer others the opportunity to share stories or say a final goodbye.

To close the service, say a final goodbye or prayer and blow out the candle. Then, if the pet is being buried, fill in the grave.  If the pet has been cremated, take the urn inside and place it in the chosen location.